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 hiya mummys!!!  I have an 11 month gap between my sons, they are both boys and being such a handfull!!!  Jack my eldest nearly 3, seems to be having really bad terrible twos, and seems to drag his brother, nearly 2 along with him, i just need some reassureance that their/his behaviour is normal!!!

Jack... always wakes at 0500, and refuses to go back down.... i cant do anything to change it... FInn still has a 9oz bottle during the night, but only wakes once and sleeps till 0700-0730... jack gets out of bed, 3/4 times anight,... just to have a cuddle!!!!!  im knackered...

Jack when he is naughty, will cry when he is on the naughty step until he is sick!!!! im at my wits end... is he doing this for attention??!!! 

jack always takes toys from finn, but he smacks him, punches him, or scratches his hands or face and leaves finn in floods of tears!! 

Jack never listens, it seems that once i have told him off, he is even more naughtier!!! 

DOnt get me wrong, finn is no angel, but they are getting such a hand full.. i just wish they would get on....

so ladies, whats the verdict, terrible twos or behaviour probs??? xxxxxxxxxxxx

hi. oh god you must be fed up! i have 2 girls so no experience of boys behaviour really but i do think boys are worse. we had a party for my 2yr old and 2boys came 4+2yrs. they were so different from girls! the eldest tried to spit in my air vent! closest mine get to it is youngest putting toy coins in it. climbing on my furniture, swinging on stair gate, i wonder if this sounds familar? if yes, try not to worry about behaviour problems cos it sounds normal!!

you could try a few things. i can only give you tips that we did. i think i'd start with the night cuddling, cut it out. tell him it's night and he goes straight back to bed without a cuddle. keep putting him back every time he gets up. tell him you'll cuddle him at morning time. if he starts to throw a tantrum warn him 3 times he will go on the step if his tantrum doesn't stop. keep calm, shouldn't be too hard cos you'll be half asleep! then put him on if he doesn't stop. he should start to realize that bed is better than step. getting up in the night could mean he's over tired in the day and making him grumpy. mine used to get up that early but the older she's got; it does get better.

how do you do the step? we used to sit her on and she had a minute for however old she was, at 3yrs she had 3min at 4yrs she had 4min. but her time didn't start until she was quiet so she could sometimes be sat there for 40min!! but she did soon realize that way didn't work, we had less tears and more time out. if sometimes she was too much and the step wasn't working we used to send her to her room. she'd have to sit still not play and do her time there, if she moved she had to start again, if she played she had to start again. also if she played we had a naughty box and watever she played with went in the box and lost it for the rest of the day and then she did not get it back until she did something good. i didn't make her work hard to get it back it was something easy and simple for her age like brushing teeth when i asked or getting dressed when asked or eating her tea so it looked like she was being really good thinking she was getting her stuff back for things that their meant to just be doing anyway but don't always want to do. you could get a naughty box for your son in the day too. explain about the box before you use it, not just that it's for when he's naughty, you don't want to make him think he's always naughty but that he will get a treat from it when he does something that's right and good. just be carefull you give 3 warnings that you're going to take his fav toy away if he doesn't stop watever it is he's doing. you could use the box if the step is not going to plan along with sending him to his room. again make sure he's clear on the rules for being sent to his room. explain it at the same time as the box.

watever toy he takes off finn put in the box saying it's not nice to snatch, how do you like me doing it to you? you're not having it. i know it means finn losing it too but he will be watching and learning and hopefully will start to think i'm not gonna do that if that's what's gonna happen! then put him on the step and sit and do something with finn so he can see what he's missing.

we used the step for about 2yrs. she had to go to her bedroom a few times, not often as soon learnt that wasn't fun, if she was threatened with her bedroom while she was not quieting down on the step it started to make her stop crying and do her time as she didn't want to go to her room. the box worked a treat and was very rarely used once she understood it. "i'm going to put it in the naughty box if you don't stop it" usually did the trick. it was full when we first started though! but it didn't fill again!

you could also try stickers for any good behaviour, the slightest thing give him one and he should start doing things more often as he'll think it's much better to get a sticker and a kiss and a well done than the step. we also bought a magnetic reward chart from early learning centre and that did wonders. we used to fill it in before story time at night and she loved it if she got all her stickers for the day as that meant she earn't a champion sticker too. the one we got had spaces to fill your own thing in so watever it is you want him to do like not take a toy off finn, write it on and he gets a sticker if he doesn't take finn's toy. no smacking or scratching, watever you want improvement on write it on.

i hope you don't think i'm too strict! we found it worked for us. hope something is worth a try for you.

I too have a three year old son and I have noticed his behaviour does get worse when he is tired.

I think you have too issues here. The first being the sleeping pattern. Your son is so used to waking now that it has become a habit. My son was always a good sleeper until we moved him in to his own bed at two and a half. He kept waking during the night looking for us. Of course to help get him back to sleep and us too, we used to stay with him until he fell back asleep. This created a problem rather then a solution. He got so used to us being there that whenever he would wake he would now not go back to sleep unless we were in the room. I think the constant up and down with your son is similar. Alot of children suffer from seperation anxiety and that is why they look for the cuddles during the night.

I started by establishing a good bedtime routine. Bath, stories (the same ones and only two) every night at the same time. Children like routine as it provides them with comfort as they know once they have their bath they will get stories and bed. Also someone told me to remove the toys from the bath. They have played all day and the bath should be a wind down. Toys only stimualte them further. Something that never crossed my mind!

The next thing I did was say goodnight and tell him about all the interesting things we were going to do tomorrow so he would be thinking of those instead of being upset when I left. Another thing would be to keep a favourite teddy in the bed with him, My son has a rabbit which we went and picked out together.

If he does get up during the night, then you just need to keep putting him back to bed without talking to him. If you talk to him he will think it is time to get up and have a conversation! It is hard but effective.

The next thing to address is the tantrums. I know it doesn't help but all kids at this age go through them. It is there way of trying at be independant but that being able to. Think of them in the context of mini teenagers!

His behaviour will improve if he is less tired too. With having two boys, Jack may feel a little jealous that now he doesn't always have mummy to himself like he did before Finn. Is there anyway you could have Jack only time. That way you could say if you are a good boy then on Wednesday when Finn is with daddy (or someone else), mummy and Jack will do what Jack wants just the two of us. The reason he gets naughtier when you are after telling him off is that in his mind at least he got your attention!  Sometimes we need to choice the battles worth fighting and if he thinks that by doing something he won't get a reaction then he will learn it is not worth doing it.

It may not seem like it now but they could end up the best of friends in years to come. I fought with my sister like crazy but we are very close now.

Good luck and stay strong.

Hi there.... my son is the same when he is tired, he is a right devil and he is 6, whereas my daughter was fine at this age, she would just sit down and fall asleep no matter where she was! With time the boys will settle down and you will know the signs etc of naughtyness meaning tiredness.. wish I could say it gets better when they get older, but all I can say is that you learn to cope more with it  Incidentally, my eldest is 12 and youngest is 6, they sometimes fight like cat and dog, but they are always there to help each other when there is a problem. Thats siblings for you. Jill, brood and 24 week bump x

I have 2 boys same there is 13months between them and alex who has just turned 3 is gettin so much better but he was a complete nightmare he used too bully my youngest alfie but bow he like s 2 help me alfie is at that stage now and it kills me.

Best thing i did with alex was let him do as he wanted and i payed a little more attention to alfie and now i am doin the same and it seems too work as alfie is wanting the attention and he is learning he will only get it if he is good and it really seems too be working for me.

I only thing things can get better and i have found if they both have the same routine then its easier and helps with bed time too if they eat at the same time's everyday it helps with the routine more and as for you little one waking up for cuddles you just have too be harsh and dont do it then he will learn that he has to back too sleep it will hurt at 1st but i had the same thing and it ripped me in two but sometimes it has to be done hope it all gets better for you soon