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 Hello everyone, I am 13 weeks pregnant, and found out my partner hasn't been exactly faithful since I have been pregnant, so I had to leave him.

I'm finding it very difficult as I am only eighteen at the end of this month, and finding it very stressful about how my ex partner is trying to make me feel guilty, although he is the adult (ten years older) and I did everything I could to make it work. 

My friends are being very understanding, considering they have no idea to be in such a situation, and my parents are being supportive, but it just isn't the same as how I could share, cuddle and discuss things with my partner. Although I am trying to look at the positives and only look forward, I have found it traumatic how drasticly my life has changed, and finding it difficult to eat and sleep, due to the stress. If anyone has been in a similar situation please help!! 

To be honest it is better that you have found out now and taken action then further down the line... At such an early stage in your pregnancy it is important to keep your stress and anxiety levels as low as possible as this could have an impact on your pregnancy development.

You should not be made to feel guilty for doing the right thing for you and to be honest he is old enough to know better, maybe he was not ready for the commitment that a child needs or grown up enough to be a Dad. My son, who will be my first is due in 2 -3 weeks, and I can not imagine doing anything that would ever effect his happiness or letting my partner down in such a fragile point in the pregnancy.

There will never be a relationship (with family or friends) that can match the connection you have to a partner but with the right support I am sure you are strong enough to cope and will end up at a much happier point in your life. What you need to remember and bear in mind is that the childs Dad will always be a part of your life (if he wants to be involved) but if he is making life difficult for you then do not be afraid to cut contact completely. It is always best to have a good relationship between seperated parents but is not always possible.

What you really have to concentrate on at the moment is your pregnancy, if you do not eat then the baby will not get the nutrients it needs to develop, the same with sleep -  if you do not rest and allow your body to refuel and regenerate yur baby stands the chanc e of suffering. You really have to put your relationship worries to one side and block them out and just concentrate on your well-being and that of your unborn childs.

J

Hi there, ive been in a similar position. I am 18, 19 next month and found it difficult at the start because even although my partner who i have a house with is 25, he was more interested in drinking constantly every day, all day, leaving me in the house myself which got really depressing. he had lost his job and i worked full time (12 hour a day shifts) until i was 7 months pregnant so we had money. then he started taking cocaine behind my back and became very aggresive and hit and choked me a few times, even straight after i left the hospital one night when i got rushed in because i was very very ill. it was better for me to decide to make him leave and i havent regretted it. his family even backed me up when i told them all the things he had been doing. if your partner feels he can act this way and make you feel like its all your fault, then its his loss, he wont have a beautiful baby at the end of the day. you should be lucky that your family are being very supportive as my family and friends stopped talking to me completley when i fell pregnant. my family are quite religeous and my friends just werent interested in me unless i could go out partying! just thinking about what was best for the health of me and my baby, and not being totally stressed out and feeling like crap all the time got me through when all that was happening, and im now 4 days from my due date and things couldnt be going better! :)

talk to your friends, if you need support they are there for you, and your midwife, i hope everything works out for you xx

 Hello J, thanks very much for your advice, it has lightened my day to hear a man who isn't so inconsiderate! Best of luck to you and your lady for the birth.

And Mel, I'm so sorry to hear that :( you definitely don't need someone like that, neither does your child! You sound like a bloody strong woman. Unfortunately I lost my job (it was an amazing job too!) just before I discovered I was pregnant due to a skiing injury, which was 13/14 hour shifts as a chef, that was also a killer. But got a job with a relatives mum who has her own catering company, so things are looking up :) get to cook for Russel Howard on the 10th too, something to look forward to! Anyway... I hope everything goes well in four days time!  Most of my mates have lost interest but the closest ones have been amazing :) I hope your family come around! Take care and the best of luck :) xxx

HI,

I just had my scan today and am 13+5. The father is no longer around, he left just after I found out I was pregnant and said he didnt want to be involved. Mine and his relationship was very complicated we have been on and off for over 10 years, he wasn't always faithful which is why we were always on and off, and one of the times he cheated he became a dad, I stayed with him although he was unfaithful and he saw the child once a week. Due to me falling pregnant he left as he said that the relationship with his child would change dramatically and he didnt want that. I was upset at first and was in a state of panic for a while with the thought of bringing my baby up by myself, but now I have come to terms with being a single mum the best thing I can do is be strong and be prepared for the arrival.

I am glad now that I let him leave and didnt let him talk me into an abortion as I ran into a member of his family last week and it turns out that he has been seeing someone else for nearly a year and has just moved in with her.

As long as you have friends and family around that are supportive and you are strong for both you and your baby, everything will be fine. Also in my opinion if he wants to be involve he will contact you otherwise I would focus on you and your babies future. Hope it helps to hear you are not alone xx