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hey all ,, this is my first posting ..i am new here lol but i was hopeing u could help i had my little girl at 31weeks which was due to preicamcya high blood pressure i showed no signs throught my preg it jus cam sudenly  so it was all quite hard to deal with ,my little girl was in the nn unit for 3mths beore she could come home which made it harder but i am really enjoying haveing her home , i am still on alot of blood meds and still feeling quit low at times ,,

my problem is my partner doesent help every day i am up at 6am with our little one to feed her then she goes back to sleep and i clean the house hoovering and moping every morning doing washing and drying and alot of other house hold chores ,,where as my partner who stays in bed till mybe midday sum times l8r will get up wanting his clean ironed cloths to be sitting ready for him and for me to runn after are little one at the same time he gets a full cooked breakfast every morning or afternoon when he gets up the expects me to wash up straight away ,,whilst expecting me to bath feed and change the baby .

our home is alwaysspot less but if i do forget sumthing even a small thing , like takeing my cup for the table and washing it he will go off and shout at me , he questions everything i do and often gets on like i do nothing he owns his own motor shop but often doesnt go in he doesnt need to which if he done something with us would be nice instead hes on the xbox or shouting for me to do sumthing for him

i am gooing crazy !!! what do i do i tell i want to feel loved and hes gos of on one soo i dont saying much any more he will say lov u but nt in a nice way weve been together 6years las feb and hes nt changed a bit help !!

hey hun, in glad your lil girl is doing well and congrats....

now!!! sorry to sound harsh but your partner sounds like a lazy, no good bully!!!  Does he even have the slightest idea how hard it is been a mum??? especially to a premature baby!!! after all the worry and stress that you had when she was born you would have thought he'd be buzzing around doing all he can to help and thanking his lucky stars you and your lil girl are safe and well!!!!!!!!!!!!

I think if i was in your situation i would have to question my relationship and ask myself is this the life i want for me and my baby??? try sitting him down and explaining how your feeling then when you see the reaction you get, E.G im very sorry ill pull my socks up OR shut up and stop moaning..im sure you'll no what to do. He may be finding it hard to adjust awell and might just need abit of a push to get him helping,  xxx

hi. congatulations!! so glad your both ok! what did your baby weigh?

i agree with carla. why are you with this man? if you stay because you love him that is not good enough. you need to have someone that loves you back and shows it. reading your post it sounds like he was like this before your baby. why did you have a baby with him? why stay with him so long? you're his doormat and servant! no one should treat you like that! who does he think he is? daren't you speak to him? you've already said he's not changed before you had your baby, why would he now? talk to him if you like but i think like carla he'll tell you to shut it. he's abusing you. get rid of this life! no, it won't be easy but it will be worth it in the end. you should be concentrateing on your baby together not doing housework and being treated like a scivvy! no woman in their right mind does what you are doing! i also wonder why you think it would be nice for him to spend time with you?! are you that controlled by him? if so that is wrong!!! i don't think he loves you at all! i think he's using you and things will only get worse. but that's upto you if you want to stay with this so called equal partner you have. you could try again but i don't think it will matter what you do, he's your boss and that's how he wants it. what do you want? have a hard think about it, you do not have a normal life, people are treated this way but you can do something about it, so do it. best of luck in what you choose.

hey caa206 

amelia was born at jus 2pound shes ni up to a birth babys wieght of near 9pound and shes 5mths and 3weeks old soo shes doing well ..

many thanks for both ur replys it has gave me alot to think about i dnt want ,my little girl growing up think this is normall soo many thanks again x

hi. wow 2lb!!!!! it must have been heartbreaking? she's done really well!

i hope you make the choice that you think is right and if that is to stay then i hope you can sort him out! think it may take a huge amount of thinking and doing which it doesn't sound like you have time for!