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I cant accept the birth.

Michelle221 Joined: 14/05/2009 Posts: 8 I cant accept the birth. 22/05/2009 04:50

This is going to sound so stupid but its being upsetting me for the last three weeks and I havent spoken to anyone about it yet. My lovley baby girl was born on May 1st. Up until I went into labor - I was told she was head down and I was on track for a natural delivery. I was feeling so positive about it and had prepared myself so well for the pain of birth to the point where I was looking forward to it. When I arrived at the hospital in labor I was told my baby was breech and after a night of contractions I was taken in for an emergency C section. After Charlotte was delivered I was shown her and then my husband held her until I was taken into recovery which felt like an eternity [and I hated this part as I had had a lovely image of skin on skin contact straight after birth]. Following my Csection I tried breast feeding but due to Charlotte being badly tongue tied I had to change to bottles. I feel so selfish as I have a lovely healthy daughter but I keep beating myself up for not being able to push her into the world, not being able to breast feed and on top of that I feel useless now as there is so much I cant do for her as I feel so sore. I carried her for nine months and looked after her, yet since her birth - I feel like I cant give her anything she needs without someone else helping me.
mummy2-1 Joined: 19/03/2009 Posts: 471 Re: I cant accept the birth. 22/05/2009 05:59 hunni dont be upset, the situation with the c section was totally outta your control, what could you have done? and as for breast feeding again that was totally outta your control, yes it is a shame that you couldnt forfill your wish for a natural birth and to breast feed, but your baby girl is here now and im sure she adores you...how bout expressing some breast milk into a bottle for her and then you feel your still giving her the goodness from breast milk??? i no its not quite the same but might make your feel abit better? goodluck hun xx
andreea221 Joined: 21/05/2009 Posts: 2 Re: I cant accept the birth. 22/05/2009 16:22 hi dear, don't worry this is a 2 months normal reaction for a new mum, specialy if its the first baby, but after 2 months your going to now evrething what you baby needs. all the best
Andrea711 Joined: 09/12/2008 Posts: 6 Re: I cant accept the birth. 22/05/2009 18:56 i too had a bad 2nd birth my boy wasnt breathing and then stopped again he had him an infection and ended up in NICU for days on iv antibiotics. When i finally got him he wouldnt breast feed i asked for so much help but nothing worked. I felt such a failure. However i am expressing my milk into bottles and he is exclusivly having my milk just not the traditional way. It is hard but you need to do the best that you can, everything was out of your control you have done the best that you can just enjoy your beautiful daughter.
philomena221 Joined: 23/05/2009 Posts: 1 Re: I cant accept the birth. 23/05/2009 08:52 Dear Michelle i fully understand the way ur feelin i have 3 children and the only birth i got to see was my now two month old daughter . my other two were both emergency sections that i had to be put to sleep for. i also wanted to breastfeed but culdnt due to complications,my advice is to please talk to somebody about the way your feelin i kept my feelins to myself as i didnt think anybody could understand and i ended up with postnatal depression as a result i felt like i was a complete failure and not gud enuf to b a mum. eventually i realised that even though things were bad to begin with i was a gud mum and the most important thing is that your baby is here and well and so are you. the birth is only the start of your wonderful baby and as u probably already know u have lots & lots of wonderful times together to come and luk forward to so try & concentrate on those. best wishes to u all mena x
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