Forums

Hiya ladies just having a moan really and hoping for some advice. My hubby started off as a fab daddy he let me sleep when i needed to and took turns with everything (except night feeds cos i was breastfeeding- i think this created a convienient excuse for him) however the novelty soon wore off and now he does very little with my little girl. He works long hours and generally gets home when she is sleeping so i do everything all day everyday. However, when he has days off he gets drunk at home or goes out with the boys so i still end up doing everything. I have practically begged him to take her for an hour but he says "I cant settle her when she cries" and refuses. I am going back to work soon and as he works wknds he will be having her on his days off. I'm dreading it as i know he will ring me at work and then i'll worry all day. To top it all today is mother's day (my first) and he couldnt even be bothered to write the card (that my mum bought for him a week ago) he makes me sooooo cross.

hi. i think you need to sit down and have a good chat. as now it seems like you say the novelty of having a baby has worn off for him. did he want a baby? has he always gone and got drunk with the lads? or started up again after the baby? for me if you have a family, then you look after them first. going out days are over. not completley but not on every day off. that's family time to do something as a family. have a good think about why you love him and if you want it to work. as you sound like a single mum of two. he's letting you look after him, doing his washing, cooking his food, does he look after you at all? not if your mum had to buy the card!

my mothers day went like this; huby got up at 6.20am as that's when our 2 girls woke. they came to see me with my cards in bed. also had a card from my husband saying thankyou for our children and all that i do for him. they left me to sleep untill 9am where i was woken with breakfast in bed. he bathed them while i ate and lounged about. we were going to my mum's for dinner, he asked what needed doing. i gave him a list of what i normally do, as he normally plays with them while i do stuff, he works, i'm a stay at home mum, eldest's sarnies needed packing for school, uniform getting ready, rabbit needed cleaning, blah blah. when we got back he put everthing away, sorted out girls with pj's and supper. then we both took them to bed.

how was yours? think about what you want and need and what you should have and how you deserve to be treated. if he was a wonderfull husband before there's no excuse for his behaviour now, if he's completely changed for some reason try and find out what's up with him. if he doesn't change, think about how you want your life to be.

Hi Victoria,  Don't be too down most men just can't help themselves, they don't see the obvious sometimes.  I wouldn't worry too much about when you go back to work, if anything this will push your hubby to be more responsible and fend for himself, I expect you will get the odd call now and again but theres nothing to say you have to be avaliable to take the call try and distance yourself a little and I'm sure after the first week of him taking care of your little angel he will be so proud of himself for how he coped, it might help to even praise him (only a little bit) I expect inside he is scared stiff abot being alonewith her.   I have a 4 month old daughter and to be honest my partner isn't that bad but like yours he doesn't seem to get that involved (as I am breast feeding also) and always says she wants her mummy when she crys and granted she does sette easily with me rather than him but this is because he doesn't try for long enough.  I am out on a girls night out soon and pooping myself abot leaving the 2 of them alone, he will have to play, bath and put her to bed and I know she will play up a little as I won't be there to ensure the routine is followed but at the end of the day he is her dad and us mummys need our lives back as well.   Good luck hun I'm sure it will be fine x  let us know how it goes

men are so apparently useless when it comes to raising children its unreal my x partner is very keen to ask about taking r 3year old but our youngest at almost 20 weeks always gets left out if shes in the room he doesnt lift her just watches tv and thinks he ony has to lift her if shes crying an has our 3year old watch tv at every oppertunity. i no u wil worry but the only thiing u cn really do is nake your partner play a bigger role i know if ur situation is similar to mine then ur baby wont settle for anyone but you but thats just because your the only peron your  daughter is used to. it used to gt to me too but now i just think of it as a special bond that myself and my daughter share. chin up hopefully it got  better. things will all change when shes growing up and walking and more active thats when the babies gt interesting to their daddies i personnally thnk xx