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im 36 weeks pregnant and my partner has walked out on me, im sure hes not going to be comming back. before he'd gone we had both agreed Ruby (baby in belly) would take his surname, becuase i thought we would get married and live happily ever after. Now that hes gone i'm not sure i want her to take his name as i already have one child who has my maiden name and im now thinking that if hes not comming back then Ruby should take my name as well so when they go to nursery they will be associated as sisters. Ex partner is determined he wants Ruby to take his name, but for reasons above i dont want her to. Am i being unreasonable? Should she take his name or mine? any help appreciated, thank you, charlie, skye and bump (Ruby) 36 weeks

hi. he may be determined she has his name but he's no longer there, is he? personally i'd want my children to have the same names, as each other and as me, it may even confuse them if they aren't. if he doesn't want to be with you why should she have his name? it can go on birth certificate and he should be happy you're putting him on! you could go alone and put unknown if you felt like it, remind him of that and tell him to be happy with your decision. he lost his right when he left. if you are feeling bad about it you can have both names.

i thought of putting both names at one point but our surnames are beith and overall and would just seem silly putting both, no hes not here anymore he moved out. thank you for your help, as i thought i was being unfair wanting her to take my name but at least its not just me.

hiya

you have all rights over the surname and would personally put yours down, my son had my maiden name then when we had our daughter my now hubby insisted she have his surname as our wedding was booked so i did, but my son had to have his surname changed by deed poll. we are now on our 5th child so we worked out, but my cousin went and put her daughters name in her boyfriend surname and when they split up it has caused soo many problems as her now ex refuses to allow Megan to change her name to my cousins surname, also her has loads more rights as she has his surname her can just take her etc etc and my cousin learned a big lesson there caused shes also met a lovely man who cares for her daughter they are getting married and expecting, ex is now way out of picture doesnt see daughter at all now for 4 years and shes stuc with his surname until she marries or turns 18 so she can change it by deed poll.

do what you feel best my hun take care x x x x 

My baby is definately having my surname (even though i dont like my surname!).  The Dad isnt that interest in our baby but he wants him/her to have his surname but i dont see why they should!!  Plus I dont want people calling me Mrs (dad's surname) at any point, he thinks this is spiteful but i just want my baby to have to same name as me xx

You do what you want and what feels right, at the end of the day it's your choice not anyone elses :-) xxxx