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Babies close together?age gaps, your opinions?

Elizabeth911 Joined: 02/02/2009 Posts: 44 Babies close together?age gaps, your opinions?

hey, i have got a 3 month old whom i adore, obviously, and me and my husband have been talking about when to have the next one, iv always thought of an age gap of about 2/3 years, but also like the idea of having them closeish together. i think id rather wait until Finley is out of nappies and out of the pram etc until the next one. has anyone got children close together or far apart and which do u think is best?i know everyones personal opinions are gonna be different but finding it hard to weigh up pros and cons? i know close together is extremely hard work, my husband was saying maybe try again end of next year so Finley will be just2 when baby no2 arrives?any opinions?im really stuck, i had quite a hard labour and birth this time round(52hours and ending in emergency c section), and would like to give my body a break but cant wait to be pregnant again, am i just weird?!lol! any thoughts would be much appreciated!lizze and finley 12 weeks x

Blue444 Joined: 15/08/2009 Posts: 119 Re: Babies close together?age gaps, your opinions?

Hiya, well as you say there really is no right or wrong answer. There is 2 yrs and 10 months between my two boys they are nearly 6 and 9 now. I didn't want them too close as didn't want the double buggy situation etc, just my personal choice, we just used baby pram and toddler buggy if going into large cities etc, to save on tired legs and just to know he was safe and could sleep whenever. Obviously they fight light cat and dog but do get on and play well together too and I'm sure this is the same for any age gap. I couldn't have done any closer together as I  had a long first labour (3 days) and then my eldest never slept I was knackered all the time, but in the end I just thought I'd go for it, if I'm up in the night with one I may as well be up with two and get it over with. The baby started sleeping through at 2 weeks and the eldest didn't sleep through til he was 5 yrs old so glad I didn't wait any longer!!!

I am now expecting my 3rd. So there will be 9 and 6 years age gap. They are both really excited, love helping pick clothes, asking questions, watching my tummy move and feeling kicks and can't wait for her to come (must say it's bought about all the akward questions from the eldest lol). This, I have got to say, is really nice too but now wondering if I should have another as age gap is big and she won't have a little play mate, but again I still wouldn't have them too close. But if I don't she will still have two older protective brothers.

The choice really is yours, there will obviously be people who say a small age gap was best for them which I can also see lots of good points in, it just wasn't for me so just see how you feel and go with the flow. You will never regret your decision as there will be too many good points to focus on. Sorry this probably hasn't helped but letting you know my views.

Good luck, Kerry, 2 boys and 26 week pink bump. x ( not looking forward to no sleep and missing my little ly ins at the weekend - bus so excited to be having a little girl)

quechelle Joined: 25/06/2009 Posts: 377 Re: Babies close together?age gaps, your opinions?

i wanted two close in age so i tried when my daughter was three months old. i thought it would take a while because my daughter took 7-8 months of tryin but i was wrong lol...i fell pregnant in the 1st week or so!! my daughter was born 8th may 2009 and this one is due 28th of may 2010. so a 12month 20day age gap if it comes on its due date.  i dont know what its like to have two so close in age but my sister fell pregnant with her second 8months after having her 1st and she gets on fine with it all.

i guess the bad thing about it is that i will need a double buggy and have two bums to change and 2 lots of bottles to wash up. my daughter sleeps well so it will only be one baby keeping me up at night. im also guessing that they will both try and get my atention at the same time wich could be orkward

but on the other hand there are a few good points.  they will be very close to eachother, they will share there toys bacause they will be playing with the same sort of age range toys. i can get the nappys and bottles over and done with in one go rather then do it once then have to do it all over again in a few years and hopefully there wont be too much jelousy between them because they will have grown up only to remember what its like to have each other. they will also be going to school with each other.

i know im gunna find it hard when the new baby is small and wakes at night and need feeding alot but its going to be really worth it when they are 3 and 4 years old playing together. one thing i would warn you about is that its hard lifting a baby when you have all the pregnancy aches and pains and a nice fat bump. and i know as my pregnancy goes on its going to get harder because my daughter will just get more heavy and my bump will just get bigger. by the time i give birth i will have been pregnant for a year and a half with only a 3month break inbetween....thats a scary thought lol

chelle,lilly(7months)&16 week bumpet xx

ladymuck64 Joined: 14/12/2009 Posts: 2 Re: Babies close together?age gaps, your opinions?

i have just found out i am expecting my 2nd child almost 10 years to the day when i had my son. he is very excited as he will get to help me look after the baby etc. i had my son when my stepdaughter was just 3 and she lives with us full time. i found it quite hard as i couldn't just take naps when the baby was sleeping and having to get him ready to take to  and from nursery after having a caesarian was very tiring. obviouslt you can't explain to younger children what is happening to youand all about the baby. which is why we decided to wait this long.

vicky231 Joined: 03/10/2008 Posts: 242 Re: Babies close together?age gaps, your opinions?

Hi, I had a 17 year gap between my 1st and 2nd children. "nd time round the hard work of caring for a child was a shock as my 1st was 17 and you knida forget whats involved, and I had soooo much independance given daughter was 17 years old. My lo is now 15 months old and im 38 weeks preg with my 3rd! and I have been worried re: the logistics of how im gonna cope with 2 so young but ive come to the conclusion 'ive just got to get on with it' 9 months of preg gives you plenty of time to think of ways in which you can cope i.e with sleep routine, gettin home organised etc. I have struggled looking after my daughter with being preg i.e sickness, tiredness and now strugglin to move around etc so my emotions have been all over the place and its been really tough going but you get through it, you have to!! I have a fab husband who helps out and trys hard to be understanding so that makes things easier, also he very much wants this baby even tho its gonna be tough. Lack of sleep gets to me so im worried bout that but ive seen on the internet re: new product that get s babies to sleep in minutes so im buying that, its won awards etc (we need all the help we can get!! and if i can get a decent sleep i guess it'll make things easier to cope with: the easidream) Re: double buggies we bought the out n about nipper double so its no so cumbersome to get about with the 2 of them. My 18 year old is bemused by the fact she has 2 such young siblings as she always thought she'd be an only child! but she loves the lo and cant wait for her brother to be born. Do whats right for you, think about your situation and think 'can we cope with 2 so young, can we afford 2 babies etc etc and you should come to a conclusion thats right for your family. Good luck with it, and it has to be ajoint decision between u and hubby as it'll need both of you to muck in and support each other. Good Luck xx Vicky

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